rants

will you bite the hand that feeds

August 29, 2013

Dear Winebuyer, I’m growing increasingly uncomfortable meeting with you here at your establishment as you continue to bitch about your service staff’s stupidity well within their earshot. Every time we meet it goes something like this… “You know, I wish we could carry this wine, but my servers are too fucking dumb. They wouldn’t know […]

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From the REPublic: I get by with a little “help” from my “friends”

April 12, 2012

Eep! This one is definitely being filed under “bitter wine rep”. Kudos to the rep for standing his ground…  Outside the tragedy of a fire though, we put up with the “help” request far too often in my opinion. And we’re forced to make the decision… pony up a few free bottles (illegal in most […]

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Wanted: Electric Car. Or Horse-Drawn Cart. Or Ruby Slippers.

March 1, 2012

  Sigh. I have no fuel allowance, no “company gas card”, no base salary.  100% COMMISSION, y’all. So when I filled my car up this morning for the second time this week, it stung more than a wee bit. Yes, I can write off my mileage with my 2012 taxes come next April, but that […]

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From the REPublic: Highway Robbery

February 15, 2012

Hoo Boy. Trade events held at accounts can go one of two ways to help or hinder our standing relationships with Winebuyer. It should be all good, right? I mean, we’re showcasing their business… we’re paying them for food or service… but many times there’s a bump or hiccup or a rash misunderstanding of the […]

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From the REPublic: Eyes up here, buddy.

January 4, 2012

I’m no prude, but I’m often times shocked at the number of times I feel like either lowering my head to meet my buyer’s gaze (“hellooo? I’m up here!”) or simply reaching over and bumping his chin up with my fist (gently, people… not like an uppercut).  I know I’m not alone. Over at Wine […]

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seeing red

November 29, 2011

Dear Winebuyer, OHMYGAWD I hate you. You are a thorn in my side, you are a joke of a sommelier, and you are ruining a great wine program put in place by your predecessor. You even look as stupid as you are. The phony affectation in your voice makes me want to SCREAM every time […]

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From the REPublic: can’t we all just get along?

November 4, 2011

The lovely 3-tier system in our country ensures that each little post or submission that’s put up on this site has at least 2 other viewpoints. And we haven’t even dragged the consumer into this whole mess. So let’s see, we got winemakers, supplier sales managers, importers, distributors, territory sales managers, brand managers, sales reps, […]

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frankie says relax

November 3, 2011

Dear short-fused Winebuyer, I’m very sorry that your order was entered incorrectly and you received that extra case of allocated wine. I will make sure it’s picked up immediately and delivered to one of my other forty accounts clamoring for that wine, and your invoice will be amended right away. What I don’t appreciate is […]

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Pinheads, part two: MW, CS, MS, CSET, STFU

October 26, 2011

Dear newly “certified” Winebuyer, Yes, I see your pin. I saw it the first day we met, when you handed two business cards to me… One from your place of employment, which listed you as “Floor Manager” and one that you personally had made that listed you as “Certified Sommelier”. And you’ve worn that pin […]

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Monday Cattle Call… Dear Consumer

October 10, 2011

I know it’s not Friday, but I couldn’t wait to post this one. One advantage I feel pretty good about in my line of work is the insulation I have from the general wine-drinking public, with the exception of the occasional consumer event I help Winebuyer out with and the inevitable peppering stream of questions […]

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