about wine rep


I’m just a wine sales rep in Anytown, USA, out schlepping the juice on the streets day in and day out. Some days I love my job, some days… mmmmnot so much.  I take my beatings, and walk away with my head held high, knowing I have a place like this to share my stories.

Care to share? Send me your letter. Air your grievances. Take your best shot. I’ll post it on here. I promise to protect your anonymity.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

WINESALESHULK September 10, 2011 at 6:30 pm






mark beach November 30, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Dear Hulk, I think I used to work for you. While my partner (who sold the other side of the Gallo pad) and I were out sweating our a**es off in Dallas in July, you were on the phone arguing with your ex-wife. At lunch you would have the merchandiser drop you off for a 3 hour, 6 martini lunch, while he took your company car to have it washed and have the oil changed. At 4:30 our pagers would go off to tell us we needed to be at a 5:00 o’clock meeting. “I know todays the first of the month, your in the middle of building two end-cap displays and you have 6 more grocery stores to stock, this is an important meeting.” At the meeting we would have a suppler spend 45 minutes explaining why two facings are twice as good as one, and if we could get another spot in the cold box we would sell alot more Boones Farm. By the way, my partner sell the Boones Farm, but I guess the same principal applies to T-Bird.

” Hey Mark, why don’t you share with the team how you made that ridiculously high quota on Lancers Rose last month.”

“Well, I simply explained to Mr. Retailer, Sir, your back rooms got to full of somebodies shit. It might as well be mine.” Although he was unsure that this was a sound idea, I knew he was off on Wednesday, so I sent the pallet then. I have to also say thank you to my manager Harold, I mean Hulk, for taking credit for the numbers when he was talking to the area manager. If I’m lucky they’ll pay the $5 a case p.m. to him so I won’t have to worry about paying taxes on the extra income. While we showing graduated, I want to thank all the managers for cutting my route last month so I could have more time to focus on the accounts that are trending down. It shows true insight on their part that they took my four largest accounts and gave them to the new girl. Although she has no practical experience in the wine business I understand she was a wiz on the cash register at Safeway, and she smells like strawberries, sort of like a stripper. She’ll learn quick working under Hulk. He’s really good at delegating.

Well, I for one am glad this Sundays almost over. Just think, only 30 more days left in December.


l October 27, 2011 at 1:50 am

hilarious. good writing too.



Yo November 23, 2011 at 7:07 pm

nice work. you are sofa king funny.


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