about winebuyer


Winebuyer is any one of thousands of people who manage the wines at any given business serving or selling wine. Liquor stores, wine shops, mom and pop diners, fine dining establishments, bars… all of them employ Winebuyer. Winebuyer is my gatekeeper. Sometimes Winebuyer has a somm certification on some level, more often not. Sometimes Winebuyer doesn’t even like wine.


My relationship with Winebuyer varies from place to place and day to day. At times I wonder if it is a prerequisite somehow for Winebuyer to have some sort of blatant personality quark, almost every one of them does. Then again, Winebuyer can sometimes become a very good friend, an ally of sort, and when this is a case, my appointment with him acts as a respite from my day, a retreat of sorts from the onslaught of chaotic madness we wine reps can face on a daily basis.


Each territory offers it’s own cast of characters.





{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

C. Scott Puckett September 7, 2011 at 5:29 am

Preaching the gospel. Thanks for the outlet!


jenn October 27, 2011 at 3:51 am

dear wine rep-
as a former wine rep, i love you. as a current retail wine shop owner, i love you more.

may the force be with you-
may ond treat you well.
jenn, the ex- wine rep


drinqwine December 1, 2011 at 2:59 am

Dear Winebuyer,

Just polished my presentation, looked up the best pricing, reviews and scores for the wines I am going to show you tomorrow. Got it down pat, took only about an hour this time because you had asked for the “story” of each wine.
Good afternoon, looking for Mr. Winebuyer we had an 11am appointment. He just left to the bank? OK, I’ll wait. Hi Mr. Winebuyer how was the bank? What, it’s noon and you need to work the lunch rush? Can I come back tomorrow same time? Well I have appointments in the next county but I’ll make it work. Have a good day.
Well I’m back, is Mr. Winebuyer available? OK, I’ll wait here until he’s done with the rep from Mr. Youngs Mart.
Hello Mr. Winebuyer thanks for allowing me the priveledge to see you today. Here is my presentation we had discussed last week. What? Mr. Youngs just offered you 2 on 10 and a big screen TV? But that wine they offered comes in a box and you can buy it at any 7-11! No sir I cannot do 2 on 10 or even 1 on 10. No sir, not even a DVD player. Thank you, I am glad you like my $10 Chardonnay. You just spent all your money earlier with 2 other distributors!?
Your credit is 45 day old. I need to pick up a check today or we can’t ship you. Hold the order til next month? But I need you to order, it’s month end!
OK 1 on 10 and a new IPad.
Thank you for the payment in full and for the order Mr. Winebuyer!


Todd Wernstrom December 1, 2011 at 8:17 pm

I just came across the site (thanks to @franklywines’ tweet this afternoon)…sadly, reading what I’ve read so far, it’d be hilarious if the stuff weren’t true…or is it, it is hilarious because it’s all true!? Either way, having been in the business of selling (or dying while trying to) for about two years, I can’t help but think that there are only two types of winebuyer: completely and utterly unqualified and completely and utterly qualified, with there being a whole lot less of the latter. It’s a pleasure to deal with the latter and a fucking nightmare to deal with the former…in fairness, I suspect winebuyer feels the exact same way about wineslinger…wish we could all just get along…Thanks for the great venue and looking forward to reading and living it (sort of)…


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