juuuuust right.

November 27, 2012 · 0 comments

Dear Supplier,

Why hello there! It’s great to see you again, and I see you’re now working with a large distributor since leaving our company back in May. I’m happy to see someone working with your wines. Quite honestly, I really haven’t missed your brand as they were always priced much too high for their performance with very little discounting with which to gain any traction. I remember our workwith last November with… well… I wouldn’t say fondness, but I regard it with a certain nostalgia. Buyers didn’t want to see us because it was the week before Thanksgiving, but you have family here in my neck of the woods, so hey… might as well get the trip written off. If I remember correctly, we sold 1 case of wine all day but the warehouse was temporarily out of stock of the SKU and we couldn’t get it to them before the December 1st list reprint, so the order was eventually canceled… but I almost enjoyed driving you around all day just so I could subject you to the barrage of rude remarks from those very accommodating buyers that I had to beg appointments from. I see you’re using a similar tactic this year.

What’s that you say? You are having an incredibly successful day with your new sales rep? Well that’s interesting and maybe a little surprising but… oh… Looks like our buyer is ready for you two. I’ll be over here, quietly listening to your presentation while inputting my orders…

Oh here we go, this all sounds familiar… but… Wait a minute… that’s the same wine we showed last year… What the… ? OH! A library release. Yes of course. I see now. Oh, and at almost half of our original NET price? AND it discounts from there?

Yes, of course your day has been successful.

Remember last year when we were driving between accounts? And I was relaying to you some of the stumbling blocks I was finding with your wines in my territory? I believe I said something to the effect of, “People like the wines, the packaging is nice too, but I think they’re just a little bit too pricey. If they were just under the $200 mark, I could move them. Or if there was some sort of by the glass pricing or quantity discount…”

I recall your response: “There’s not enough wine to merit the discounting. This is a small premium brand, not meant for discounting or glass pours. We’re staying firm with our NET pricing.” But clearly the wine wasn’t selling. It must have been the fault of my company and all of our ineffectual sales representatives. It couldn’t have been the pricing.

And lookie here… our Dear Winebuyer is ordering 3 cases to pour by the glass at your now appropriate $176/case price…

Of course he is.

Best,

Wine Rep

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cherry picker

July 26, 2012 · 6 comments

“I’m sorry, I don’t have time to taste today.”

Oh, that’s too bad… I have (insert hipster/culty/somm’s current wetdream wine here) open…

“Oh, I have time to taste that…”

sigh.

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A few of my recent faves from my winebuyers:

 

Me: “I noticed my Grüner Veltliner has fallen off the list… it did really well for you and I know you really liked it… What happened?”

WB: “We got a Grüner from California now, so we don’t need an Austrian one.”

Yes, that makes sense. Because customers hate options… 

 

WB: “But I already have a riesling” (emphasis is my own)

He points to the Dr. L on the list …as I pour a Pradikat level vineyard designate Riesling. Well done, Winebuyer. Saving your patrons from options once again. 

 

Same Winebuyer as above as I pour a glassable NZ Sauv Blanc: “Hmm… I like it, and it’s the right price point… but haven’t I seen that wine at Trader Joe’s?”

Yes. Yes, you have. Right next to your precious Dr. L…

 

At a farm-to-table restaurant that puts strong emphasis on the quality of their food sources:

“I really liked the Pinot Grigio I was getting from you, but it was just a little too expensive for by the glass. The new one I brought in isn’t nearly as good, but the kind of people ordering Pinot Grigio aren’t really concerned with the quality of the wine.”

Hmm… Those same people who care so much about the quality of your food? 

 

In a retail establishment: 

“I like that Pinot, but I’ve already got this other one that flies off the shelf! I can’t explain it… it walks itself out the door!” Customer walks in, says he’s looking for a good Pinot Noir… WB hands him the wine… “This is our best selling Pinot Noir. I can’t keep it in stock. You should buy a case of it!”

 

 

 

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The Worst Kind of Winebuyer

May 1, 2012

I have a lot to say about this, but not enough time to say it. Luckily, my girl Talia did the topic justice over at Eater.

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Bottle Breakdance

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Sunday fun day. This makes me thirsty. And I rep a few of these…

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REPublic Request: Tech Tricks of the Trade

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when it just doesn’t add up…

April 13, 2012

Dear Winebuyer, I’m so appreciative of the placements I’ve been given at your establishment. I know you’re a very small account, but also one of the newest, hippest spots in my territory and all of the reps are clamoring for a piece of the action. And although I don’t have the lion’s share of the [...]

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From the REPublic: I get by with a little “help” from my “friends”

April 12, 2012

Eep! This one is definitely being filed under “bitter wine rep”. Kudos to the rep for standing his ground…  Outside the tragedy of a fire though, we put up with the “help” request far too often in my opinion. And we’re forced to make the decision… pony up a few free bottles (illegal in most [...]

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Winemaker/Supplier Do’s and Don’ts: The Workwith

April 11, 2012

Whew. It’s been quiet around these parts. Spring has sprung, new accounts are popping up left and right, December invoices are being ignored… and between selling, cold-calling, chasing down credit apps and collecting money, I’ve been busier than a three legged cat covering up shit on a marble floor. I had a special request a [...]

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From the REPublic: David vs Goliath

March 22, 2012

We all know this scenario. In fact, this exact same story played out in my territory a year or two back. Wine Buyer from a previous restaurant (that had only a beer/wine license) called me, all excited to be able to work with me again in his new position at a large, swanky place (with [...]

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